Take a look at teen Jayde's full blog here - http://alittletouchofhope.blogspot.co.uk/
"Hellooo my beauties!
So, I uploaded a blog post a few months ago now, updating people people on how my cancer journey was going.
When I wrote that post, I said that last year I had been in intensive care a couple of times with Neutropenic Sepsis, I was very very unwell both times. The chemotherapy that I was on was way too strong for my body and my kidneys. My kidneys are very weak as it is and the chemo was just making me a whole lot worse. If you want to know what I updated you on in this post, then you can read that here:
So basically, I'm writing this post because there is something else that I need to update you on. I have kept something to myself and between my family and close friends for a good few months now.
In February, I got some bad news. I know a lot of you know that, but you don't know specifically what has happened.
I had an MRI on the 11th February after my second course of chemotherapy. I got the results a few days later on the 15th February. My consultant told me and my Mum that one of my three tumours has grown. She also went on to tell me that apart from the chemo that I had already been on called Etoposide, she will not be putting me on any other types of chemotherapy as my kidneys are too weak to be able to handle any stronger/any other types of chemo now. I was given the choice of having a break from chemotherapy mentally and physically for a couple of months, to be able to give my body a break too. Or to carry on with the Etoposide in the hope that it will keep my tumours stable for longer and prolong my life.
I didn't take my consultant's offer up on having a break as I was scared about my tumours getting any bigger. So during this appointment I decided that I would go back on the Etoposide for another course of chemotherapy. I done well on this chemo but I had to stop taking it five days early (when normally I would be taking it for three weeks) because my blood counts had already dropped too low again.
I also asked my consultant about being put forward for a trial, so she said that she would speak to the trial development team. I know that I shouldn't have, but I think I set my heart on it too much, hoping that something could be done to make me even a little bit better. Unfortunately she called me the next day to say that I couldn't be put forward for any trials as my kidney function is too low to meet the criteria.
This broke my heart as I know that there isn't much in regards to treatment that they can do for me anymore.
From the end of my chemotherapy, up until my last appointment I had with my consultant which was on the 29th April. I've had over two months off of chemotherapy because my bloods have really struggled to come up. From my blood test that I had yesterday last week, some parts of my blood test are still low.
For a few weeks prior to my appointment with my consultant on the 29th April, I had been worrying that one of my tumours (that currently sticks out of my chest) has grown and the skin had changed colour. At my appointment, my consultant felt my tumour and said that she could tell that it had a bit bigger. There is also a lump pretty near to this tumour in my chest and it has been there for a good few weeks. I can also feel that it is there, if you understand? For example, when I move my left shoulder or neck, I can feel it. Where as with my tumours, I can't feel that they are there apart from the one in my chest that I can touch on the outside, obviously. Its so hard to explain unless you're a cancer patient and understand what I mean. So I'm worried that either one of my tumours has grown in my chest, or its a whole new tumour. I was meant to start chemo the day of this appointment but my consultant said that if its not been helping and if one of my tumours has grown or a new one has formed, then there is no point in starting the Etoposide again when it obviously isn't working, my blood counts are struggling to come up and it could be making my body and kidneys even weaker than they already are.
So, I uploaded a blog post a few months ago now, updating people people on how my cancer journey was going.
When I wrote that post, I said that last year I had been in intensive care a couple of times with Neutropenic Sepsis, I was very very unwell both times. The chemotherapy that I was on was way too strong for my body and my kidneys. My kidneys are very weak as it is and the chemo was just making me a whole lot worse. If you want to know what I updated you on in this post, then you can read that here:
So basically, I'm writing this post because there is something else that I need to update you on. I have kept something to myself and between my family and close friends for a good few months now.
In February, I got some bad news. I know a lot of you know that, but you don't know specifically what has happened.
I had an MRI on the 11th February after my second course of chemotherapy. I got the results a few days later on the 15th February. My consultant told me and my Mum that one of my three tumours has grown. She also went on to tell me that apart from the chemo that I had already been on called Etoposide, she will not be putting me on any other types of chemotherapy as my kidneys are too weak to be able to handle any stronger/any other types of chemo now. I was given the choice of having a break from chemotherapy mentally and physically for a couple of months, to be able to give my body a break too. Or to carry on with the Etoposide in the hope that it will keep my tumours stable for longer and prolong my life.
I didn't take my consultant's offer up on having a break as I was scared about my tumours getting any bigger. So during this appointment I decided that I would go back on the Etoposide for another course of chemotherapy. I done well on this chemo but I had to stop taking it five days early (when normally I would be taking it for three weeks) because my blood counts had already dropped too low again.
I also asked my consultant about being put forward for a trial, so she said that she would speak to the trial development team. I know that I shouldn't have, but I think I set my heart on it too much, hoping that something could be done to make me even a little bit better. Unfortunately she called me the next day to say that I couldn't be put forward for any trials as my kidney function is too low to meet the criteria.
This broke my heart as I know that there isn't much in regards to treatment that they can do for me anymore.
From the end of my chemotherapy, up until my last appointment I had with my consultant which was on the 29th April. I've had over two months off of chemotherapy because my bloods have really struggled to come up. From my blood test that I had yesterday last week, some parts of my blood test are still low.
For a few weeks prior to my appointment with my consultant on the 29th April, I had been worrying that one of my tumours (that currently sticks out of my chest) has grown and the skin had changed colour. At my appointment, my consultant felt my tumour and said that she could tell that it had a bit bigger. There is also a lump pretty near to this tumour in my chest and it has been there for a good few weeks. I can also feel that it is there, if you understand? For example, when I move my left shoulder or neck, I can feel it. Where as with my tumours, I can't feel that they are there apart from the one in my chest that I can touch on the outside, obviously. Its so hard to explain unless you're a cancer patient and understand what I mean. So I'm worried that either one of my tumours has grown in my chest, or its a whole new tumour. I was meant to start chemo the day of this appointment but my consultant said that if its not been helping and if one of my tumours has grown or a new one has formed, then there is no point in starting the Etoposide again when it obviously isn't working, my blood counts are struggling to come up and it could be making my body and kidneys even weaker than they already are.
I also received a letter from my GP last week that my consultant had sent him, and as part of that letter my consultant said "Clinically I think the disease in the anterior chest wall is progressing. For this reason and because Jess is not really tolerating the Etoposide well, I do not feel there is any point in pursuing this at the moment." ANY POINT? She doesn't feel there's any point in pursuing this? Before she even has the results back from my MRI that I had today? Its absolutely AWFUL. How am I meant to be positive and have any bloody hope when I feel like my consultant is just basically giving up on me before I've even given up myself? I'm pretty sure thats meant to be the other way round.
The surgeon that done my operation to remove my tumour, collarbone and my first & second rib etc in 2014 has said to my consultant that it is too dangerous to do another operation to remove anything around the area of where he did last time because it was so close to my nerves for my left arm, my jugular, blood vessels etc. Especially as I have two tumours in my chest and another one on the lining of my left lung. It would have been too big of an operation to operate in the same place for the second time, and try to remove a tumour from my left lung. This would have been the ideal thing to do, but like I said, it is way too dangerous and such a huge risk to go through for the second time. I also can't have radiotherapy as I have already had it in the same place before in 2011. Then like I mentioned earlier, my consultant said that I can't go on any chemotherapy anymore as my kidneys and body are too weak (The only chemo I could have gone on would have been the Etoposide as I was on a reduced dose and it wouldn't have effected my kidneys as much as any other chemo - But even the Etoposide may not be working anymore.)
I am just praying that my tumour hasn't grown and another tumour hasn't formed. If they haven't, then I am praying that my consultant will allow me to go back on the Etoposide if she thinks that my body can still handle it. In the hope that it will keep my tumours stable for longer. But as of right now, my treatment has been stopped.
Any treatment that I have been having has been just to keep my tumours stable and try to prolong my life. It is heart breaking that I won't beat cancer for the third time or even be around forever, nothing upsets me as much as the thought of that. But as long as I make an impact on as many lives as possible and help & inspire people whilst I'm still alive, plus make incredible memories with my family and close friends that can be treasured forever, then that is what is important.
I am just praying that my tumour hasn't grown and another tumour hasn't formed. If they haven't, then I am praying that my consultant will allow me to go back on the Etoposide if she thinks that my body can still handle it. In the hope that it will keep my tumours stable for longer. But as of right now, my treatment has been stopped.
Any treatment that I have been having has been just to keep my tumours stable and try to prolong my life. It is heart breaking that I won't beat cancer for the third time or even be around forever, nothing upsets me as much as the thought of that. But as long as I make an impact on as many lives as possible and help & inspire people whilst I'm still alive, plus make incredible memories with my family and close friends that can be treasured forever, then that is what is important.
This is why I have started putting together my bucket list. I would love to achieve as many of my goals and dreams that I have as possible. Spending every minute I can making as many memories as possible with my family and close friends, that is so important to myself, my family and close friends right now.
It would mean so much to us if you could kindly donate as much or as little as you can to my GoFundMe page to go towards my bucket list. Any donation means the entire world to me, especially because of my recent news. So please donate if possible and share my GoFundMe page on all of your social networking sites: gofundme.com/ttp246xg
Whilst I was at Centre Parcs from the 6th May - 9th May, I had some photos taken in my 'Bore Off Cancer' t-shirt from @boreoff on Twitter, which are the photos that I have put in this blog post. So with my cancer being an absolute pain in the arse at the moment, I thought that I would include some of my favourite photos from this photoshoot that I had done with my friend Rhiannon into this blog post! You can purchase the t-shirt that I am wearing in the photos and so many more items from Bore Off's website: boreoff.com. An amazing £5 of every sale will be donated to Macmillan Cancer Support!
Now, I just want to say thank you so, so much to Carole and Jennie, two friends of mine (who have now become family) who set up the GoFundMe page to collect funds for my bucket list in order for me to be able to start ticking off goals and dreams of mine. Plus to be able to make some AMAZING memories with my family and close friends that can be treasured forever. You two ladies are amazing, please never forget that! I will never ever be able to thank you enough for everything that you have done for me, it is just incredible.
I also want to say thank you to everybody that has donated to my GoFundMe page to go towards my bucket list or even shared the page on any of their social media sites. It means an incredible amount to me and if it wasn't for you guys, I wouldn't even be able to think about ticking anything off of my bucket list! You all mean more to me than you will ever know, and I could not EVER thank you all enough for your ongoing love and support. Plus being behind me 110% of the time and pushing me on, even when sometimes I don't even believe in myself! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Always.
I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for not uploading to my blog or YouTube channel recently, I just haven't had the time to either write a blog post (as they can take me days) or film a video and edit it (again, that can take me days too). I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things with my blog and YouTube channel as soon as I possibly can as I'm so desperate too. I'm sure you all understand and I'm so thankful for you all being so patient with me.
I have many appointments everyday this week. I had an MRI today (16th May) and I will be getting the results from this in a couple of days so please pray for me that the results goes well. Another appointment that I have this week is with a new consultant at a new hospital in London, so I'm just praying that he knows of something that can be done. So please keep everything crossed for me. I'm just praying for a miracle right now.
If you do know of any kind of treatments or anything else that I could try that could keep my cancer (Ewing Sarcoma) at bay for longer and prolong my life, or know of any good consultants at any different hospitals whether that be in the UK or abroad, PLEASE please either leave a comment down below in the comment section and I will reply as soon as possible or if you would like to speak to me about it privately then just message me on Twitter, Facebook or on my Instagram and again, I will get back to you as soon as I can. We are desperate to just find SOMETHING that may be able to help, I'm sure you can imagine just how scared we all are right now. You can also email me at jaydeallenenquiries@hotmail.co.uk (about further treatments for my cancer only please, unless it is a booking, any other enquiry or something to do with my bucket list.)
It would mean so much to us if you could kindly donate as much or as little as you can to my GoFundMe page to go towards my bucket list. Any donation means the entire world to me, especially because of my recent news. So please donate if possible and share my GoFundMe page on all of your social networking sites: gofundme.com/ttp246xg
Whilst I was at Centre Parcs from the 6th May - 9th May, I had some photos taken in my 'Bore Off Cancer' t-shirt from @boreoff on Twitter, which are the photos that I have put in this blog post. So with my cancer being an absolute pain in the arse at the moment, I thought that I would include some of my favourite photos from this photoshoot that I had done with my friend Rhiannon into this blog post! You can purchase the t-shirt that I am wearing in the photos and so many more items from Bore Off's website: boreoff.com. An amazing £5 of every sale will be donated to Macmillan Cancer Support!
Now, I just want to say thank you so, so much to Carole and Jennie, two friends of mine (who have now become family) who set up the GoFundMe page to collect funds for my bucket list in order for me to be able to start ticking off goals and dreams of mine. Plus to be able to make some AMAZING memories with my family and close friends that can be treasured forever. You two ladies are amazing, please never forget that! I will never ever be able to thank you enough for everything that you have done for me, it is just incredible.
I also want to say thank you to everybody that has donated to my GoFundMe page to go towards my bucket list or even shared the page on any of their social media sites. It means an incredible amount to me and if it wasn't for you guys, I wouldn't even be able to think about ticking anything off of my bucket list! You all mean more to me than you will ever know, and I could not EVER thank you all enough for your ongoing love and support. Plus being behind me 110% of the time and pushing me on, even when sometimes I don't even believe in myself! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Always.
I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for not uploading to my blog or YouTube channel recently, I just haven't had the time to either write a blog post (as they can take me days) or film a video and edit it (again, that can take me days too). I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things with my blog and YouTube channel as soon as I possibly can as I'm so desperate too. I'm sure you all understand and I'm so thankful for you all being so patient with me.
I have many appointments everyday this week. I had an MRI today (16th May) and I will be getting the results from this in a couple of days so please pray for me that the results goes well. Another appointment that I have this week is with a new consultant at a new hospital in London, so I'm just praying that he knows of something that can be done. So please keep everything crossed for me. I'm just praying for a miracle right now.
If you do know of any kind of treatments or anything else that I could try that could keep my cancer (Ewing Sarcoma) at bay for longer and prolong my life, or know of any good consultants at any different hospitals whether that be in the UK or abroad, PLEASE please either leave a comment down below in the comment section and I will reply as soon as possible or if you would like to speak to me about it privately then just message me on Twitter, Facebook or on my Instagram and again, I will get back to you as soon as I can. We are desperate to just find SOMETHING that may be able to help, I'm sure you can imagine just how scared we all are right now. You can also email me at jaydeallenenquiries@hotmail.co.uk (about further treatments for my cancer only please, unless it is a booking, any other enquiry or something to do with my bucket list.)
Thank you so, so much for reading this guys. I know it is a really long update but so much has been going on recently and I wanted to keep you all up to date as people have been asking and I know a lot of you are worried, you are amazing with supporting me through this so I know that you will carry on doing just that. I'm just trying to keep as positive as possible right now!
I'm so determined to keep fighting, I will fight as hard as I can until my very last breath, always. I will do anything to get better, I WILL get better - No matter what the doctors say.
Positivity, always. Right? :)
Thank you for everything. Your support, being behind me and pushing me forward etc, everything. Thank you for EVERYTHING.
You are all amazing human beings, remember that.
Until next time my lovelies,
So much love, always
Jayde x"
I'm so determined to keep fighting, I will fight as hard as I can until my very last breath, always. I will do anything to get better, I WILL get better - No matter what the doctors say.
Positivity, always. Right? :)
Thank you for everything. Your support, being behind me and pushing me forward etc, everything. Thank you for EVERYTHING.
You are all amazing human beings, remember that.
Until next time my lovelies,
So much love, always
Jayde x"
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